I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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