Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
