Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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