Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
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