Got a toothbrush?
I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
