God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
whose ass print is on the piano?
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I currently don't understand fingers.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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