Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize