Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
