the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
