I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
