...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize