there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
okay pat passed out under dana's car
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
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