No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Randomize
