hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
