Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
