Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
