Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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