It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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