If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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