Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
