its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
