i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
