tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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