So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize
