He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
He's on the porch naked. Help.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
