I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
