Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
