It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
I met the friendliest cop last night
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Randomize
