kristin has been a bad kristin
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
