dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
