Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
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