rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize