she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
from now on my penis is your penis
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
