hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize
