Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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