Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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