I wannas sexs uuuuu
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
