I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
