She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
