Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
