Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
