I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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