I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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