problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize