we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
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I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
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