well I can't set my house on fire every night
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
