My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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