and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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