yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
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