If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
