I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Randomize
