Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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