Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
pop tarts are not kleenex
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
