with your own penis?
So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
It's Friday. Sex?
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Randomize
