How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Randomize
