he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
