Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Here’s Why Hotel Photos On Travel Websites Are A Complete Hoax
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(