This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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