i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
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