There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
we're chasing vodka with high fives
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
