I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Randomize
