nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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