You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize
