yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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