I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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